I left my job last week after being on medical leave for the past several months. My official resignation letter was short. However, I reflected and continued to write about the short time I spent working in hospice long after I completed the initial letter. It was one of the most gratifying jobs and simultaneously one of the most terrible jobs I have ever had. I write this “letter” to no one in particular.
It is with mixed feelings that I have decided not to return to work upon the completion of my leave of absence. This is the right decision for me, without question. However, I will miss my co-workers as well as the privilege I held to witness everyday miracles.
People nearing the end of their precious lives and their loved ones kindly invited me into their homes. In many situations my role took a backseat to simply observing the delicate balance between life and death. When entering those sacred spaces, I took my place in the interwoven connection all beings share. Most people cannot say such profound things about their jobs! My sensitive nature overflowed with love and compassion on a daily basis; however, the emotional toll of caring for the dying as well as the demands of a very fast-paced work environment overwhelmed me.
Many people thrive on stress. Others, like me, are sucked dry. Encouragement to find “work-life balance” seemed like a cruel joke. It is something I have struggled with for my entire career. And now, with my mental and physical health under threat, I can no longer ignore my own needs. When I am ready to work again, I will explore a different path. And I am so very excited by the possibilities.
I will always be thankful for having learned the art of Hospice. Even though I can never work in that setting again, I will remember my co-workers fondly, and hold the important work they are doing in the highest regard.